Part of my inward discoveries this past month has been sharing tools around Gremlins. You know, those pesky, insistent monsters that live in our heads and constantly are reminding us how we’re not enough, not doing enough, not measuring up in a variety of ways. It’s great for me to work with my clients on this – it supports my own growth too. I figure you could benefit from some resources too – so let’s talk about an empowering model that you can use to stay in charge of who’s running your show.
Most of us have Gremlins (voices in our head) that have hypnotized us into believing that we have to be a certain way to get acceptance and love. Whether they remind us of how we felt and acted when we thought there were Monsters under our bed as kids or were ways of behaving that we had dictated to us in order to fit in, these creatures are based on a perceived threat. Eventually they morph into out-of-date perceptions or limiting beliefs that we have habitualized that keep us from being our authentic selves. By understanding that they are not true and based on a story or interpretation we have made up, we can start the process of depersonalizing them and creating strategies that will empower us to live our True Lives.
MODEL FOR GREMLIN TAMING:
1. Understanding. In every human head there is a Gremlin (or more than one). This inner critic can set into motion a cycle of limiting beliefs all designed to keep you safe and comfortable. The thing is: these beliefs are not true! They are all made up and you can begin to disengage from the power of your Gremlin by noticing who they are and what their story is.
2. Recognition. You can use your mind and body to gain awareness of when your Gremlin is mis-directing your attention.
a. The Mind: Watch your language for clues that you are hooked into an interpretation. Words like ‘should, have to, must, can’t, never, always’ are signals that you’re not fully in the present. These words imply absolutes or judgment – a clear sign of Gremlins in control. Notice if you say things like “I’m always like that” or “I should do it”. Bring your attention to this moment and respond differently and in accordance with your values and vision.
b. The Body: Pay attention to your body and it’s reactions. Are you closing your eyes to hide, feeling smaller? Do you get stomach-aches? Does your chest burn? Are you holding your breath? Are your shoulders curved forward, constricting your chest? Use your breath to shift your energy and release tension. Change your body geography to a more open posture.
3. Realignment.
a. Use curiosity to get to know your Gremlin. Who is she/he? What is their prevailing message? What does it look like? Create a drawing or image of your Gremlin and tack it on your wall. Each time you see it helps you to realize that it’s outside of you – not who you are. The relationship you have will begin to change as you simply notice who your Gremlin is.
b. Breathing and experiencing. When you notice that you are triggered in your body and feeling certain emotions, stop and simply give them the space to be felt. All our emotions are simply energy and to experience energy is to be alive. Emotions are not inherently bad – they only become that way when we bottle them up and refuse to feel them. Remind yourself that you don’t have to act on them. If you just simply notice them without acting, you may feel more empowered and at choice. Give them lots of space as you breathe through them.
c. Change for a change. As you consider how to express yourself, play with options. Sometimes you may decide to take a route that’s characteristic with who you usually are; other times, step out of character. Be playful and creative. Accentuate typical reactions to really get how ridiculous they are. Find a voice for your Gremlin and act it out. As you blow up this absurd behavior you will see more clearly how silly and limiting it is to listen to your Gremlin.
d. Re-Write your Story. Don’t like the one you’re living, according to the safe philosophy of your Gremlin? Well it’s all made up anyway, so imagine a new one. One that is aligned with your Values and Future Self. Create positive self-talk and don’t hold back! Speak in the present, as if it’s a done deal. Embellish it and repeat it to yourself as often as possible. While your Gremlin may tell you this is a lot of hooey, it feels a lot better than listening to that old coot! Allow yourself the pleasure of dreaming up whatever you want – how loveable you are, what great health and fitness you have, a big lump sum in your bank account, wonderful friends and family. Energy flows in the direction you focus on – so rather than listen to those out-dated, stuffy limiting beliefs, set yourself on a new path of freedom.
4. Reconnection. When you truly realize that your Gremlin is all made up, you are free to reconnect with your deepest Beloved self. This is an empowering time. Be with yourself, enjoy your own company. Feel into the infinite goodness of you. Recognize that a myriad of possibilities and choices are always yours. Notice how big and spacious life feels without the small story of that old Gremlin.
5. Integration. Now you are living consciously, noticing whenever you might be triggered in life and having the skills and wisdom to recognize and recover quickly and with ease. We’re all human and getting hooked happens. But now you know what to do about it and can transform back into your True Self. Relish this transformational process and the power it infuses in you. And while you’re at it, begin to notice the Gremlins of others. You don’t have to play into their dramas – you have tools to keep yourself centered and living your True Life!
(With thanks to Rick Carson and Lynn Serafinn for their contributions to this article.)
Need support with this process? Consider hiring me for 3 months to work on transforming not only your Gremlins but your whole life!
Coach Victoria
(970)259-9040
Victoria@truelifecoach.net
