After a few days away, I have some time to sit by the creek, listening to it roar its way down the canyon. In the roar my thoughts blur and I can let go and just Be. For a bit I’m lost in the moment …and then I am visited by an interesting dialog around Motherhood and parenting.
Seems timely as my Mom sent me the cartoon that I’ve included in this issue – she thought I would get a kick out of it. One mom telling another, she has become her child’s Life Coach. J I did smile at this when I first read it and have kept it on my desk to see what other insights might arise. Today, sitting here by the water, I am struck by the similarities and differences of Mom and Life Coach. One big piece of this is unattached love. I know as a Mom I am very attached to my daughter and the ins and outs of her life. Sometimes this is wonderful and allows me to know more intimately the web of connection that truly is everywhere but that we often forget. Other times it’s just a cause of a lot of suffering. Micro-managing from lack of trust, feeling needy as she rightfully pulls away to find her own individuality end up keeping us in separate corners, living in made up assumptions that have little to do with the Now and our desire to be connected. On the other hand, the self-management I have with my clients lets me love them but not feel that their choices are connected to me. They are free to decide as they will, and they too will live with the consequences of those decisions. I am three steps back and can be a witness and mirror to their lives. So would this life coaching skill help me get through these teenage years? You bet!
In order to create this sort of letting go with our children, what do we can we teach them so they can be healthy human beings? Well my first answer is a whopping big dose of the natural world when they’re small. (This may also answer the question: How do we reverse the course of current events and save our planet!) I believe that small children, and especially those who are nurtured by nature, actually need very little from us ‘big people’ aside from love, shelter and nourishment. They, being closer to a state of Being completely connected to Spirit, have much to teach us. Their free expression, their curiosity and drive to learn are inspirational. Just by exposing them to the gifts that you find sitting with a tree of blossoming pussy willows by the fast moving stream, our job gets taken out of our small hands as help arrives from the universal whole.
As they get older, what then? More and more I am convinced that personal awareness of her own consciousness is the biggest gift I can offer my child. At this point in our planetary evolution, nothing is more important than awakening to our selves. Not the ego-driven self that wants and desires, that focuses all it’s happiness on what the future can provide, but the ability to be present in the Now of life. As I work with adults as a Coach, I can say that most of my clients are seeking this Presence, in themselves and in the relationships that matter.
So we parents, and especially us Mothers, need time for ourselves, where we put aside the grocery list, getting everyone to soccer practice, the bills and yes, even our husbands/partners to just BE. To sit somewhere alone, with an open and curious heart, and listen. I find that when I give myself this gift of non-doing, I can once again find who I am at the core. I can awaken my true voice. I can feel joy and enthusiasm for life. I can be whole again.
This month, I want to extend an invitation to the Mothers. If you are one, have one, or know one– take me up on this opportunity. On May 3 rd, come and be in the circle of love that arises from the heart of you and other Moms. Connect and kindle the flame that unites us all. Gift your True Self with a day to be seen, heard and recognized as a Mother and a Woman. Cultivate support for a conversation about the most important job on Earth – raising it’s future, today.
A One Day Retreat: FOR MOMS ONLY Saturday, May 3 rd 9:30a – 6:30pm.
Contact me at (970)259-9040 or email Victoria@truelifecoach.net to reserve your space.
