SANCTUARY STORY

STORIES FROM THE SANCTUARY

Volume 1 August 2007

I used to think of August as a time to slurp juicy peaches and chomp on ripe tomatoes. But after this past week I’ll rename it the Mudslide Month! And I don’t mean some delicious coffee milkshake either!

It began when I came home from my week at Omega Institute in upstate New York. After living in this amazing learning community, being led by author and vision quest guide Trebbe Johnson to deepen my relationship with my own Beloved (I’m not kidding – I take Retreats too!), I was looking forward to a quiet week at home all alone. My family was away and I was here – when was the last time that happened? If you live with a family, I’m sure you can appreciate the gift of time to yourself, where you can make your own choices every minute of the day. Ahhhh…. Or so I thought.

We’ve been having quite heavy monsoon rains this summer. Generally speaking I love rain and the thunder and lightning that accompany it in the summer. The night I got back, after some long delays in Denver, I was thrilled to arrive home. Just as I got everything in the house, the buckets of rain began. That night, I loved it – perfect sound for sleeping again in my own bed after a long trip away.

On Monday morning, I discovered quite a bit of mud on our deck. I called a neighbor’s son to come and help me shovel it off. We didn’t finish but I figured we could the next day and didn’t think much more about it. But late Monday the thunderheads were building, the sky was black and pretty soon the rains came again. As I watched from all the different windows in my house, I could see the mud was running down the mountain cliff behind our house at a much higher than usual pace. I was getting hyper, running from window to window as I watched the entire deck begin to be covered with mud …and on the rains came. The mud was getting dangerously close to my daughter’s room, at the northeast corner of the house right off the deck. The original builders had put an outside door in this room and bit by bit the mud and water rose to almost the top of the single step into her room. Did I mention that a few weeks ago we had just ripped out the old carpet and put a brand new floor in there? Jeez…At 11pm, with no choice other than watching disaster strike, I got my sandals and rain jacket on and headed out there with a shovel. It was insane! In the pouring rain, a river of mud and water sloshing over my feet, for an hour I shoveled the mud to the one remaining outlet off the deck to keep the water from rising that final inch. I knew I couldn’t stop the mud from coming but I knew I had to try and keep a channel open. After an hour of that, there was some flow right by the doorway; the rest of the deck was under a foot of solidified mud. I was exhausted and had to rest. I came in, peeled off all my sopping wet clothes and collapsed. I sent up prayer that I’d done enough for now and went to bed. Even though I was tired, it was hard to fall asleep as I listened to the continuing rain on the roof. Left with not knowing what the outcome would be, I finally dropped off to sleep.

The next morning I was relieved to see that the mud had not come past the step. But the whole deck and parts of our garden next to it, were covered in at least a foot of mud and the clean up process was going to be my next adventure… not quite the quiet, relaxing days I had anticipated coming home. But over the next couple days, as I called in some help and kept the clean-up moving along and said prayers of gratitude for a rain reprieve, I did have time to ponder all the lessons this experience had brought.

While I’m still living inside some of the personal metaphors from this, here are two I know matter a lot:

•While we may be focusing on the beauty around us and being grateful for what we have, our shadow work is equally valuable to a balanced and whole life. This is the mud. The dark and dirty stuff we don’t like and don’t want to deal with. It’s scary to delve into it and yet I believe it’s the perfect compost to crack our lives open so we can live with an open heart. So we can keep the channel of love and compassion open and flowing – for ourselves and the many relationships we have. So wherever that mud is showing up for you, take a big breath and step into it. It will be messy – what creative process isn’t? – but it is also the pathway to a more fulfilled life. Find support - someone you can trust to accompany you on the journey. I’m available if you are ready to clear your path to living more authentically. I promise to champion your True Self and offer tools for more conscious living.

•The second metaphor this experience reminds me of is that I can handle disaster when I’m focused and clear. While I ran around my house, peering from the windows, not knowing what step to take, I was unclear and confused. But when I put on the gear, not even really sure what I could do, but made the commitment to try, it all fell into place. Once on the scene, I picked up the shovel and dug in. Where are you not sure what action is needed? How is this ‘stuckness’ affecting you? What would it feel like to give yourself permission to try something new and move your energy outward? Is it time?

 

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